RaNDomNEss

this is the first time i've ever gotten an earache since maybe birth, i never want another one, i feel like i am walking on a balance beam on a pontoon.

i think this has been one of the craziest years for weather; snow till may, tornado's everyday, (no ryhming intended)and yet we are in the midst of global warming.

what exactly is global warming?

lately i crave sleep, reese's, watermelon, perfect fountain diet coke, thunder but no storm, sweet corn, and cold. I am not interested in the interrupted night sleep, but hard out of it naps. fresh reeses' just bagged from the assembly line, watermelon, ripe and seedless. diet coke bursting with carbonation, plenty of ice, and a good solid straw. Lots and lots of cracking thunder, but a gentle rain. I want sweet corn on the cob, the small ears of speckled corn bursting with flavor and nice cold air conditioning, so chilly i can curl up with a blanket and book and be satisfied. I hate waking wrapped in sweat, and sticky. I like the shock my body gets going from the hot muggy outdoors to inside a ice bin.. ahhh... glorious goosebumps.

i can't stand the anti smoking commercials, with fake dummie bodies lined up, or the one million dead, etc... I don't smoke, I am a poster child for pushing the cancer stick to cease, yet I am baffled and mad at the atrocity of those commercials. yes, i am mental.

i love the smell of wet dirt, soaked earth, and new grass, especially after a rain, but yet, i throw profanity's into the atomosphere, mowing my bumpy yard. However, when it's all said and done, mowing isn't all that bad. But why hasn't it been mowed in two weeks?

I realize I have a minor obsession lately with my cell phone, it's at my side all the time, or the inbox tab on my email, i am forever and constantly 'refreshing' it.

I find myself consumed by my facebook and myspace, and wonder what year it will be passing fancy and 'so outdated'..... It drives me nuts when people send me money for buying me, or comments on taking a movie quiz, but yet I heartily smile, b.c. i got a new comment. I am possessed by the internet, due to my lifelines of these two pages. I love bragging my niece up, getting emails, or seeing a new friend request, but yet saddens me to think I keep in touch, only by these accounts.

lately i've had dreams about dolphins, should i be concerned?

I love the way the neon color of a highlighter lights up a page when first dabbed, but i am disheartened by the final stage. It's a drab almost mustard yellow. I guess still succeeds in getting it's point across, just not ...well as pretty.

I've decided lately one of my favorite smells is, fresh doughnuts.... ahhh glorious! I walk into gas station in the morning to get my 'perfect' diet coke and the aroma hits me...I've been so proud of myself, I haven't faltered and grabbed a whole box, or one for that matter of those glazed wheels of heaven. Man I can see myself go weak in the knees and cave soon.

Did you know that I have never had a twinkee, a t.v. dinner, learned to drive a stick shift or had a banana split.

I want to go hang gliding, bungee jumping, backpacking through New Zealand, and have my own studio.

I was told a few weeks back by an elder that I looked like a smart girl, while pumping gas. He told me to add a little water to each gallon in my gas tank and it would cut down on fuel costs. Ahh... I must be a 'smart' girl.

I need my diet coke..

Discovery Channel: I Love the World

seriously does anyone else get this song completely stuck in your head all day???

175 days in.....Make that 178

SO WE ARE 175 DAYS INTO 2008. MY LAND WHERE DOES TIME GO.... THE YEAR IS HALF OVER, AND .....WELL...... I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR .. MY BLOG. NEGLIGENT. I NEED TO TREAT THIS AS A CHILD, A JOB, A PLANT, OR A PET. BUT THEN IF THIS WERE A PLANT, IT WOULD BE DEAD, AND IF IT WERE A PET, IT WOULD BE MISSING OR LIVING AT THE NEIGHBORS. I HAVE SUCH GOOD INTENTION TO WRITE, SUCH INCREDIBLE AMBITION TO DO SO, AND SOMETIMES CREATIVE IDEAS.. BUT HERE I SIT. I CHECKED OUT MY 'DRAFTS' I HAVE SEVENTEEN UNFINISHED RAMBLES IN HERE. LETS SEE IF I CAN CONTINUE WITH ANY, OR JUST CALL THEM A BUST. I FIGURED TO ATTAIN MY SHORTCOMINGS, I COULD AT LEAST WRITE ONE BLOG A WEEK, BUT THAT MEANS I HAVE TWENTYFIVE TO WRITE. SHOULD I KEEP THEM TALLIED ON A CHALKBOARD, ON HOW MANY I HAVE YET TO GO?
IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE TO BLOG BUT I FEEL I SHOULD. I FAILED CHAD IN THE WRITING EXERCISES. DANG IT!!! I HATE THAT I DID THAT, AND NOW I FEEL THE WILL TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
FOR INSTANCE I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I AM WRITING IN CAPS. I FURTHER DON'T KNOW WHY I HAVE RUN ON SENTANCES OR THE FACT I FEEL THE NEED TO SPELL OUT NUMBERS.
IF NOT FOR THE SIMPLE FACT, I GUESS I CAN.
I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE THE YEAR IS HALF GONE. WOW... HALF GONE. I GUESS I AM BUMMED, BECAUSE MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION WAS TO MAKE A DIFFERANCE IN MY WRITING, TO BLOG MAYBE DAILY, AND TO GET STUFF OUT THERE.. AS YOU CAN SEE...... ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FUNNY DIDN'T GET THIS DONE, WE ARE 178 DAYS IN... I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. THAT IS SCARY.
I WILL POST AS I STILL HAVE A GRASP OF THE REALITY OF WRITING THAT LIES BEFORE ME.
PLEASE FELLOW BLOGGERS, BID ME WELL. I DESPERATELY NEED IT!

GONE ASTRAY,
FLEW TO HIGH,
WIND CAUGHT MY STRING,
LET IT GO, LET IT UNWIND

I LOST MY WAY,
....I DON'T MIND.

NEVER AGAIN WILL I STAY,IN JUST ONE PLACE.
NEVER AGAIN WILL I STAY PLANTED, AND NOT RISE.

PAST TREES, CLOUDS, THE HEAVENS...
INSPIRATION, DREAMS, TOMORROWS.

IT SOARS WITHOUT RESTRAINT, I HOPE HUMBLY.

THE SUNS RAYS KISS THE TREES TOWARDS EARTH
THE PAVEMENT RADIATES THE SOUL,
REFLECTIONS OF SELF, CAPTIVATED.

THE KITE SOARS, I FEEL FREE,
I WISH UPON IT.

YEARN FOR IT'S SIMPLICITY, I CRAVE THE DESIRE, PARDON MY DUTIES OF RESTRAINT.


THE LAST HINT OF RED FADES INTO THE HORIZON
EYES WIDE OPEN, I SEE CLEARLY.

CHAD AND REMI.. PART 1

SO PER CHAD, WE ARE BACK IN "SCHOOL" A SCHOOL OF CHAD AND REMI, I PRESUME. WRITING ASSIGNMENTS PER DE' BLOG. I AM EXCITED, AS I HAVE NOT DONE MY PART IN KEEPING UP THE FLOW OF WORDS TO THIS DARLING SITE. THE POEM, THE LYRICAL GENIUS (HA) HAS BEEN ON SABBATICAL FAR TOO LONG.
I AM PULLING BACK THE COVERS, AND WE WILL SEE IF I CAN KEEP UP MY PART OF THE BARGAIN....YIKES. I ENJOY A CHALLENGE, BUT LET'S SEE IF MY COUNTERPART, REMI CAN HANDLE IT.

I ASSURE YOU CHAD, I AM UP TO THE CHALLENGE, AND IT WASN'T A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.

WSC STUDENTS PREVAIL!!!

I MEAN SERIOUSLY, AS DR.KEENAN WOULD SAY, "YOU CAN TURN EXCREMENT INTO APPLESAUCE!"

throwing kisses.....

Lefty, they called me....

The group of regulars, coming in for their morning coffee. I poured the coffee left handed, and they assured me it tasted better for that. I read in my home town paper, that Floyd passed away. He was the ring leader in daily chortle about discussions favoring my life. Almost fifteen years since I worked the diner, but feels like yesterday sometimes.
A group of three farmers, with so many interests, some different, most alike, but they all favored the coffee and the same taboo of picking on the bubbly waitress....me.
If they only knew, how many times they were all thought of over the years, and how often I did heed their advice.
Floyd, tried to get a rise out of the other waitress's one Saturday morning, by attempted to catch a kiss. Although, very much a gentleman, he would have never done such a thing. After my third passing of coffee, I leaned over and gave Floyd a kiss on the cheeck.
He smiled, and said
"Amy, never freely throw kisses, your too good of a girl, remember that." Shortly after that comment he goes... If I hadn't freely thrown a kiss out there though, I would have never kissed the one woman that mattered, the woman I married. ( So... possibly a double edged sword. )
Knowing what I did of Floyd, and the rest of the men, I guarantee they were quite the charmers in their "courting" days.
However, the statement of "throwing kisses" didn't get thought of till last night.
Sitting with friends at the Eagles last night, all bantering about the ho hum doldrums of Cupid himself....Valentine's Day. Jim, the "farmer" the likeable cause of most of our jokes anyway, made a comment of being a kid at heart, and that started the candy.
We had a bag of Hershey kisses. The kisses got thrown around for the most part of the remainder of the evening. It became the joke, with the five of us in there that were really "freely throwing kisses."
Had just read Frank's obituary, and thinking of those days, I couldn't help but laugh of his advice.....and although Frank's advice was most likely not meant to be the chocolate kiss, it was a night that molded a memory.
So as I deftly threw those kisses around, I can't help but think...... you really knew what you were talking about.
The quarter under the coffee cup, the twinkle in your eye, and the "matter" in which you discussed my life I am grateful for having known you.
The last time I saw you was August 17th, 2007 on my father's birthday at Popo's. For old time sake, I poured the coffee. You smiled, and before my family left, you gave me a quarter. I still have it.
To my posse of men, Floyd, Frank and Milon, thanks for the reflection, and allowing me to throw kisses.

UNTITLED

FRAGILE, I AM LOST.
LIKE HOPE FORGOTTEN IN LIKLIHOOD.
I GAVE TOO MUCH,
BUT NOT ENOUGH OF ME.
I PULLED AWAY,
YOU BROKE FREE.

I WASTED REASON, ON WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.

I BELONG SOMEWHERE, BUT HAVEN'T GOTTEN WHERE I AM SUPPPOSED TO BE.

ISOLATION OF FEARED BELONGING,
VOID OF TRUST, I EMBRACE THE THEORY OF IT.

I KNOW NOTHING BUT CHAOS, NOTHING BUT MISREPRESENTED FACE.
EXPECTING HURT.. A CAUSE AND EFFECT
THE REACTION I REPLAY.

A ONE PERSON ARMY ...DEFENDING ME.

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride --Out January 11th

AHHHH I am soo excited to see this movie,"27 Dresses." Because trust me, I can totally relate. Thanks to my friend Kelly, in the hills that first briefed me on this movie, I can't wait to watch. I have been a bridesmaid ELEVEN times, that I know of, and I have been in other various roles that I have not counted.. Such as soloist, a reader, a flower pinner, a punch pour er, the videographer, the personal attendant, etc.... I know Katherine Heigl's role well. Always a bridesmaid, but never a bride!
From the previews, it appears she has much odder dresses than I had. I have been fortunate to recollect only one dress that I was embarrassed to wear. Oh everyone it came with a muff and all. I scratched and made noises when I walked. I really looked like a human garbage bag.
Awhile back, friends of mine joked about wearing past dresses.....as either a girls night out, or a scary Halloween scene gone all wrong. My goal to get back into the most hideous dress that I still own, and party on! Anyone up to the challenge with me????? Come on, women you still have to have those dresses somewhere? Men....... if you are brave enough, you are welcome to be on the arm of us!
Enjoy the trailer and go see "27 dresses" ... I bet you'll laugh thinking of me and all my past dresses!